Thirdly, The notes and signs of self-denial.
There are exclusive and inclusive marks. Exclusive marks will
show us when self is not denied; then inclusive marks follow, wherein we may
take comfort.
1. Exclusive notes for conviction, how we may know when self is in dominion and sovereignty. It is a sign self is exalted and in dominion -
[1.] When a man did never set himself to thwart his own desires. Carnal indulgence makes lust a wanton. When we cocker our lusts, they grow contumacious and stubborn. They that gratify their senses and wallow in all fleshly delights, never knew what it was to be exercised in Christ's school; a man that cannot deny his ease and pleasure is not fit for Christ: Eccles. 2.11, 'Whatever my eyes desired, I kept not from them; I withheld not my heart from any joy.' When men can remit nothing of their vanity and luxury they make christianity to be but a notion and an empty pretence; they are men and women of pleasure, when Jesus Christ was a man of sorrows. The children of God are always wont to cross themselves in things which they most affect; as David poured out the water of Bethlehem when he longed for it. It is good sometimes to make such an experiment upon ourselves; we may find out many images of jealousy, if we would try whether we could deny ourselves in what we most affect.
[2.] By an impatience in our natures when we are crossed by others. Self seems to be a very delicate and tender thing; we cannot endure to he crossed in our opinions and interests, or in the accomplishment of our lusts. Haman is sick, and cast upon his bed, because he wanted Mordecai's knee. Always our affliction argues the greatness of our affection. It should be the elachiston, 'the smallest thing,' as the apostle saith, 'to be judged of men,' 1 Cor. 4.3. When men have set a high price and value upon themselves, they are vexed when others will not come up to their price. John died for crossing Herod in his Herodias; Jonah made his gourd to be a piece of himself, he prized it too much, as appears by his great vexation when God had smitten it. Fretting and murmuring show what is the tender part of our souls, and what we have made as part of ourselves.
[3.] When a man is loath to be a loser by religion. Some are of cheap and vile spirits, they love a gospel without charges, as the apostle speaks, 1 Cor. 9.18, can be content to serve God so as they may be at no expense for God. Look, as we should count and reckon upon the charges before we profess religion; so after profession we should ask conscience what it hath cost us to be godly, at what expense we have been at for Jesus Christ, since we have espoused Christ and religion. David would not serve God with that which cost him nought. If a man were told that his way to such a place is encumbered with briers and thorns, and that he must ride through many dirty lanes, and must look for scratching brambles, and many miry places, now when he seeth nothing but a green and pleasant path, he would think he had mistaken and lost his way; so when you are told your way to heaven is a strait way, and that religion will put you upon self-denial of your pleasure, profit, and carnal desires, and yet you never wrestled with your lusts, nor quitted anything for Christ, and meet with nothing, but pleasure, profit and delight in the profession of religion, you may well think that you are mistaken in the way, and it is a great sign you are yet to seek in the duty which Christ's scholars must practise.
[4.] When the heart is grieved for the good of others, it is a sign self is then in dominion. Many can rejoice and please themselves when God hath been glorified by some act of their own, but they are grieved when the work is done by others; selfish and carnal men would fain make a monopoly of religion. Oh! consider, such a temper is a sign that self is too dear and near to us. We should be as glad if God be glorified by others as when ourselves are the instruments of his glory. Luther said, Si nos non sumus digni,fiat per alios - My design is, that the work of God may be done; and if I be not worthy, let the work of God be done by others. So Paul; Phil. 1.15,16, Many preach the gospel, supposing to add affliction to my bonds; yet if the gospel is preached, I therein rejoice, and will rejoice. It is a Pharisee's spirit to malign and envy the good of others: John 12.19, 'Behold, all the world goes after him, and we prevail nothing;' they were vexed Christ had so much of the respects of the people. Men would monopolise all respect to their faction, and keep up a devotion to their interest; this made the elder brother envy at the prodigal's return, Luke 15. When we envy the gifts and graces of others, and their esteem in the world, it is a sign self remains in sovereignty and dominion. Many, because they would shine alone, are apt to blast and censure the repute of others, and malign the grace wrought in them, whereas we should rather rejoice therein.
[5.] When men care not how it goeth with the public so they may promote their private interest. I mention this because, as self is to be denied for God's sake, so it is to be denied for the good of others. There is self in opposition to God, and self in opposition to the good of others: 1 Cor. 10.14, 'Let no man seek his own, but every one the good of others;' as we are bound to promote the glory of God, so the good of one another too, especially the public good. Therefore the children of God have no heart or regard to their private conveniences with the loss of the public. Moses, when God promiseth to prefer him, Exod. 32.10,11, 'Let me alone, do not beseech me for this people, and I will make of thee a great nation.' God offers him a composition, if he would cease his prayers, and tells him the holy seed should be continued in his line, instead of the line of Abraham, and all the rest of the tribes should be abolished; yet it is said, Moses besought the Lord, and desired mercy for the people, O Lord, let not thine anger kindle against thy heritage; it is no matter what becometh of me, so the people be safe. So Neh. 5.18, 'I took not the bread of the governor, because the bondage was heavy on the people;' he would not take the necessary support and maintenance whereby the greatness of his place might be borne out, because there was affliction upon the children of God. But now carnal men care not how they embroil a nation, nor how it goes with the public affairs, so they may promote their own interest, and set up self in place and honour. The children of God are wont to yield up all their own interest for a public good: Jonah 1.10, 'Cast me into the sea;' so the tempest may be still, no matter what becomes of me. So Nazianzen, when there was a great trouble and contest about his place - 'Doth my honour trouble you? Let me go aside in obscure silence, and live neglected, and die, and my bones be thrown into the dark, where they may not be found nor known.'
2. As there are exclusive marks, so there are inclusive also. I shall name but three.
[1.] When a man in all his purposes, in every actual choice, is swayed by reasons of conscience rather than by reasons of interest; when he is contented to be anything, so as he may be serviceable to God's glory, and Jesus Christ may be all in all. Thus Paul, when he was in a strait whether to be dissolved or stay in the flesh, it is no matter which it be, so Christ be magnified, whether it be by life or death, Phil. 1.23. If my body be spent with labour, or fall as a burnt-offering, in martyr-dom, it is no matter, so Christ still be magnified ; when we are contented that self should vanish, so as Christ may appear, and shine in all his glory. As when the sun displays its beams the stars vanish; when we are put upon any choice of life, whether we shall do this or that, still we are to measure it, not by self-interest, but with respect to God's glory. Seneca saith, A magnanimous man cares not, doth not look, where he may live most safely, but most honestly. A child of God looks, in the disposal of his affairs, where he may have most work, and do most service, and not merely to provide for ease and safety. As a traveller, when two ways are proposed to him, one pleasant, the other very craggy and dangerous, he doth not look which way is most pleasant, but which way conduceth to his journey's end; so a child of God doth not look to what is most grateful to the flesh, but how he may do most work and service, and glorify God upon earth.
[2.] By an humble submission to God's will. It is a great conquest over ourselves when we can conquer our own will. Now the children of God speak as if they had no will of their own at all. Before providence is past, they absolutely give up themselves to God's disposal, either for deliverance or trouble. In 2 Sam. 15.25,26, 'The king said unto Zadock, Carry back the ark of God into the city; if I shall find favour in the eyes of the Lord, he will bring me again, and show me both it and his habitation; but if he thus say, I have no delight in thee, behold, here am I, let him do to me, as seemeth good unto him.' David speaks as if he had no will of his own, and gives up himself to the disposal of God. So also after the event, when God hath declared his will, they silence all the murmuring of their spirits: 1 Sam. 3.18, 'It is the Lord, let him do what seemeth him good.' There is enough to calm all the discontent of their mind, there is God in the providence. A child of God can lose nothing by force. Men may take away his estate by violence, but he resigns it to God. God may take away his friends, but he resigns them, they are taken away by the consent and resignation of a sanctified will. So for their lives, they resign themselves up to God. Therefore it is notable, when the scripture speaks of wicked men, it is said, 'What hope hath the hypocrite, when God shall take away his soul?' and Luke 12.19, This night shall thy soul be required of thee.' The children of God consent to give up their souls, estates, and friends, upon the call of providence. There is a subscription to God's will - 'It is the Lord.' Nay, there is not only patience, but they can even bless God, because his will is accomplished: Job 1.21, 'The Lord hath given, and the Lord hath taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.' They can see as much cause of blessing God, not only when he doth enrich them, hut when he doth impoverish them, and lays his hand upon them; this is to cause our wills to be swallowed up in the will of God, and this is to be like the great pattern Christ himself - 'Not my will, but thine be done;' we should not be like our great master if we did not this. Christ indeed prays against affliction, so may we. We should not have known the greatness of his self-denial if he had not manifested his natural desires, but he refers himself to God. And so must we also.
[3.] When a man is vile in his own eyes, and reflecteth with most indignation upon his own sins. There are none that pass a severer doom than the children of God do upon themselves when they have sinned against God; they need no other judge than their own consciences to pass a sentence upon them. Men naturally are apt to favour themselves; they are slight in self-humiliation, and deep in censure of others. With indignation they reflect upon the sins of others, but with indulgence upon their own. As Judah, when it was told him, 'Tamar thy daughter hath played the harlot; and also, behold, she is with child by whoredom. Judah said, bring her forth, and let her be burnt,' Gen.38.24. But when she showed him the tokens, and that he had defiled her, then he was calm enough. It is otherwise with God's children, no sins so odious to them as their own: 1 Tim. 1.15, 'Jesus Christ came to save sinners, of whom I am chief.' Oh, there is no such sinner in the world as I am, saith Paul. So Prov. 30.2, 'Surely I am more brutish than any man, and I have not the understanding of a man.' How could a godly man say so? It is the fruit of spiritual indignation. A godly man spends the most of his revenge and spiritual indignation upon himself. Oh, there cannot be a more brutish person than I have been, that have sinned against so many mercies, so many obligations, and so much light! These are not compliments, but they speak them with bitter feeling. Saith Chrysostom, They do not only speak it in humility, but in truth. They can but know the sins of others by guess and imagination, but they feel their own sins, they know them by sense. As in sorrow we are apt to say, There is none like mine. Why? Because we feel the gripes of our own pains. So the children of God, they feel how grievously they have sinned against God. Saith David, Ps. 73.23, 'I was as a beast before thee.' They know they have more mercies than others, and more obligations than others, therefore their offences seem to them to be more grievous. Well, if the heart be brought to this pass, that the heat of indignation is spent upon thy own sins, and these things be spoken not by rote and imitation, but out of deep sense and feeling, it is a comfortable sign that self is dethroned in thee.