There is a general complaint of people of faultiness in
their relation; they have been so long untrue to God, that now they are grown
unfaithful to one another. It concerneth us to stop this growing mischief.
Ministers should not be accessory to this common depravation of manners by
their silence. Let us warn them of their duty, whatever cometh of it; and
therefore, having continued my discourse on the several verses of this chapter
hitherto, I would not dare to break it off here. The apostle having laid down
general duties which belong to all christians, he cometh to particular precepts
that concern the well ordering of domestical society. Every complete family
consists of three pair of relations - husband, wife; parents, children; masters
and servants. The first relation, between husband and wife, is the chiefest,
which is the foundation of the rest; therefore e beginneth with them. And first
with the duty of the wife, because it is more easy to perform the duty of love
than subjection. To love is sweet, but to obey tedious. Besides, by the
obedience of the wife the husband is the sooner induced to love her. The
submission of the inferior is a strong motive to the superior to do his part.
Therefore he begins with the wife, and saith, 'Wives submit yourselves to your
own husbands, as unto the Lord.
In the words there are -
1. The duty
of the wife, 'Wives, submit yourselves.
2. The persons to whom it is to be
performed, 'To your own husbands.
3. The manner how, 'As unto the
Lord.
1. For the duty, 'Submit yourselves. Subjection in the general on
God's part noteth the subordination of one creature to another according to his
wise disposal, as the imperfect to the more perfect, and this for the good of
both; for it is so ordered, that in all relations comfort and duty shall go
together. On our part it is a ready inclination to obey this order set by God;
for every creature must know his place, and be content with the order wherein
God hath set him. According to this order, submission is required of the wife
towards her husband; for though she is not to be subject as children to their
parents, much less as servants to their masters; no, this subjection is more
free and ingenuous; for there is a greater co-ordination between husband and
wife than other relations. They draw as fellows in the same yoke; yet subject
she must be; for there can be no order kept in the family unless all the rest
be subject to the father of the family. Therefore this authority which the
husband hath over the wife is such as is necessary to the order of the family,
and the safe and prudent management of affairs herein, and also their
comfortable• cohabitation with each other; and so this subjection is no
more than is convenient, equitable, and just.
2. The persons, 'To your own
husbands.' This is as often repeated as the precept is repeated, and is
mentioned partly to note loyalty and chastity. She is to submit, not to the
adulterer, but such as they are bound to by their own choice and conjugal
covenant. And partly to prevent tyranny. She is to be subject to her own
husband, not to the strange woman introduced into the family to usurp the
rights of marriage.
3. The manner how it is to be done, 'As unto the Lord.
By the Lord is meant Christ; and the particle as is a note of similitude, not
of equality; for the husband's authority is not equal with that of Christ. This
clause importeth many things.
[1.] The regulation of the duty; it must be
done willingly and sincerely, resembling that submission which is performed to
Christ, whose image, in his government over the church, the husband beareth in
his superiority over the wife. God hath power to dispose of his own creatures
as he pleaseth, and as he is obeyed by the servant in the person of his master:
Eph. vi. 5, 'Be obedient to your masters as unto Christ'; and again, ver. 7,
'Doing service to the Lord'; so he is obeyed by the wife in the person of the
busband, who therein is his image: 1 Cor. xi. 3, 'I would have you know that
the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the
head of Christ is God'; that is to say, Christ in respect of his office of
mediator, is under God, but above all men; so the man being under Christ, is
above all women. Well, then, as we should be obedient unto Christ willingly,
heartily, and sincerely, so must the woman be obedient to her husband, who is
an emblem of his superiority and power.
[2.] It may import the enforcement,
the reason and motive of this duty, because Christ hath commanded it; and by
virtue of the law of Christ all wives must be subject to their husbands; which
doth not disannul, but confirm God's institution, for his precepts are not
privative, but accumulative. It is good to see how this duty hath been
enforced, first as natural, then as penal, lastly, as comfortable.
First,
as natural, by the law of nature: 1 Cor. xiv. 34, 'The women are to be in
obedience, as also saithi the law.' Where, besides God's positive precept, the
apostle urgeth the law of nature, 'they ought', 'as also saith the law.'
Secondly, it hath been urged as penal: Gen. iii. 16, when the woman had
sinned, Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. if
there be anything grievous in it, it was introduced by sin. Therefore if this
subjection be not so free as before the fall, but joined with sorrow and
difficulty, they must remember what occasioned it.
Then, lastly, it is
urged as comfortable, as required by the law of Christ, and resembling the
communion between Christ and the church; for so it is spoken of everywhere in
this chapter. Well, then, the woman is first to subject herself to Christ, and
in love to him to subject herself to her husband.
[3.] 'As unto the Lord
imphieth a limitation; this subjection must be in all things which belong to
the lawful authority and superiority of the husband; for so it seemeth to be
expressed, Col. iii. 18, 'Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as it
is fit in the Lord.' All fitting obedience must be yielded to him, so far as
Christ hath given the husband power over the wife.
[4.] It importeth
Christ's acceptance of this duty. He interpreteth this subjection and obedience
as given to himself, and the contrary as rebellion against himself; for it is
service done to Christ: which may give the woman comfort against all
unkindnesses, and unthankful returns from her husband. She is obedient, but the
husband froward; but Christ will recompense this dutiful submission, though the
husband do not.
Doct. That wives must reckon it their unquestionable
duty to be subject to their husbands.
Let me show you -
(1.) Wherein
this subjection consisteth;
(2.) The reasons and grounds of it.
I.
Wherein it consisteth. To speak briefly of it, this subjection lieth in two
things - in reverence and obedience.
1. In reverence, which is both inward
and outward.
[1.] The inward, in a due esteem of the husband, which is the
ground of all love and submission. So it is said, Eph. v. 33, 'Let the woman
reverence her husband.' If for nothing else, yet in a humble acknowledgment of
his right by God's ordinance; for esteem is not only due to personal
qualifications, but to the eminent dignity wherein God hath placed any creature
with whom we have commerce; and if we cannot acknowledge them for any worth in
then, yet we must acknowledge God in them, who hath put his image of
superiority upon them, that we may the better discharge our duties to them.
[2.] Outward reverence is both in word and deed. First, in word, by a reverent
speaking of them and to them; for the Holy Ghost taketh notice of this: 1 Peter
iii. 6, 'Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.' Sarah testifieth her
obedience and dutiful carriage to her husband by her respectful language to him
and of him. The Lord taketh notice of the least act of sincere obedience to his
commands, even when it is mixed with many sinful failings. The whole passage
from whence this is taken savoured of unbelief: Gen. xviii. 12, 'After I am
waxed old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?' There is nothing
commendable but that one word which expresseth her reverence of her husband,
and yet she is commended as one of the holy women trusting in God; and from
thence the apostle inferreth how much women should give reverence to their
wicked and infidel husbands, for that is the case in hand.
Secondly, in
deed; their behaviour towards them should be far from all irreverence and
contempt; as it is taken notice of as a wicked practice in Michal, that her
husband was despised in her eyes when he testified his religious joy by dancing
before the ark; and therefore God smote her with barrenness till the day of her
death, 2 Sent. vi. 20, with 23. She upbraids him, and mocketh him: 'How
glorious was the king of Israel today I as if he had behaved himself not like a
king, but one of the rascal multitude.' Mark, it is said in the 16th verse that
first 'she despised him in her heart,' and then taunts at him, and utteretht
her contempt by scornful and proud upbraiding. When their love is stabbed at
the heart, the outward carriage will not be dutiful, but contemptuous and
scornful. But doth God pass by this breach of matrimonial duty? No; she
procured from God a sore punishment; she continued barren to the day of her
death, and her crime is registered with the black coal of infamy to all
posterity.
2. Obedience; that is showed in many things.
[1.] In
studying to please rather than to be pleased; for the apostle telleth us that
'she that is married careth for the things of this world, that she may please
her husband, 1 Cor. vii. 34; that is, counts it part of her calling to take her
part and care of domestical affairs, that she may be pleasing and acceptable to
her husband.
[2.] By fulfilling his commands in all things lawful, and not
contrary to her duty to God: Titus ii. 5, 'Let wives be obedient to their own
husbands. And this not with a grudging, discontented sullenness; as Zipporah,
in circumcising her son, cast the foreskin at Moses feet, saying, 'Surely a
bloody husband art thou to me,' Exod. iv. 25, by way of angry upbraiding him,
that such severity must be exercised on her son; at least that is the meaning
our translation seemeth to hold forth. But with readiness and willingness, as a
duty to be performed as unto God, who will be served not by constraint, but
with a ready mind; and therefore they must obey not out of necessity, but
conscionably, and with all cheerfulness. Instances of this we have in holy
women who trusted in God; as Sarah followed Abraham when he went into a strange
country, and was partaker with him of the blessings there, Gen. xii. 5; and in
entertaining the angels, Gen. xviii~ 6. When Abraham said unto Sarah, 'Make
ready quickly three measures of fine meal, and knead it quickly, and make cakes
upon the hearth; we find no disputing and gainsaying of these commands, but a
ready obedience is presupposed, which all good women should imitate.
[3.]
By submitting her will to her husband's content, and her desires to his
approbation and allowance: Gen. iii. 16, 'Thy desire shall be to thy husband,'
that is, subject to him, 'and he shall bear rule over thee.' This is one clause
in the woman's censure after the transgression; and we can neither make God's
laws straiter nor larger than they are, and therefore the woman must be content
with the duty imposed on her.
[4.] In patience under his rebukes. So the
apostle: 1 Tim. ii. 12, But I suffer not a woman to teach, and to usurp
authority over the man, but to be in silence. The apostle giveth directions
there concerning the woman's public and domestical carriage. As to her public
carriage, 'I suffer her not to speak in the church; not to carry it as if her
will were authentic, or the rule of the family, but, in opposition to both, she
is to be in silence; as not to teach in the church, so at home to be obedient
without replying or countermanding. And that is the reason why a meek and quiet
spirit is so much commended as an ornament of a gracious woman: I Peter iii. 4,
'The ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which in the sight of God is of great
price.' Meekness and quietness is chiefly exercised in bridling our passions,
when anything falleth out cross and contrary to our desires and expectations,
and we eschew all needless contradiction and expressions of malcontentedness.
Now this is not only gaining upon the husband, but is very acceptable to God,
who delighteth in the graces he hath wrought in his own people. But now, on the
contrary, a humorous moroseness and impatiency is very displeasing unto God and
man, and destructive of family society: Prov. xiii. 19, 'A contentious wife is
a continual dropping.' As the coming in of the rain in a ruinous house doth
founder it, and rot it more and more, and nothing can be preserved from hurt by
reason of it, so there is no safety nor comfort in cohabitation with those of
that temper. So again, Prov. xxvii. 15, 16, 'A continual dropping in a rainy
day, and a contentious woman, are alike. Whosoever hideth her, hideth the wind,
and the ointment of his right hand which bewrayeth itself; that is, a brawling
woman is so fierce, that a man can no more tame her than shut up the wind in
the hollow of his fist, nor hide the smell of a fragrant ointment when he hath
it in his hand; so ready they are to show their petulancy upon all
occasions.
[5.] By being a comfort and a help to him: Gen. ii. 18, 'It is
not good that man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him. The
woman is to be a help, not a hindrance; not the governor, for the right is
originally in the man, but a help in government, to ease him in part of his
burden and cares; a help every way, for the comfort of society, for assistance
in governing the family, for the increasing and for the propagation and
continuance of posterity; for these uses was the woman created, and intended by
God, though by sin afterward she became a snare to him. Well, then, this is her
office and duty of service still, which by God she is deputed unto. She is to
be a help before him, that is, to minister unto him; as when they sought a wife
for David: 1 Kings i. 2, One that may stand before the king. Now this is the
duty of all good wives: Prov. xxxi. 12, 'She will do him good, not evil, all
the days of her life; that is, she studieth to do good to her husband, and to
prevent the evil that may come unto him; whereas foolish wives pluck down the
house they should build up, Prov. xiv. 1, proving moths in their husband's
estates by their idleness and wastefulness; thorns in their sides, vexing those
whom they should comfort; snares, by perverting those whom they should draw to
God and quicken in godliness, corrupting the children and family whom they
should instruct. In short, this we learn by this point, that the woman is not
man's guide, but his help; and those abilities which God hath given her are for
obedience, not for government; the man being ruler and governor, but the wife
is his helper and partner in the cares of the family. Assistance is her
business, not chief command.
[6.] In not disposing servants or the estate
without the husband's leave or consent. Servants: when Sarah thought herself
wronged or despised by Hagar, yet ahe puts her not away till she had sought the
husband's permission, and made her complaint to him: Gen. xvi. 6, 'Behold, thy
maid is in thy hand'; before she could do nothing to her.
But now as to the
disposing of the estate there is a greater difficulty. Certain it is she may
not take wastefully of her husband's substance to spend at her pleasure; but
she is not utterly barred of works of mercy; for this duty lieth upon all: 'To
communicate and distribute forget not. And it is said of the good wife, Prov.
xxxi. 20, 'She stretcheth forth her hands to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth
her hands to the needy. She hath not only some small pittance to give to the
poor, but a larger bounty for the needy and deeply necessitous; therefore it is
said, 'She reacheth out her hands; that is, distributeth to them in a more
plentiful measure. And we read, Luke viii. 3, that 'Joanna the wife of Chuza,
Herod's steward, and Susanna, and many others, ministered unto him of their
substance; that is, supplied him with necessaries. Our Lord Jesus could have
given them more than he received, but he would leave an example. Now whence
this stream of bounty should be fed, whether of that which is personally their
own and reserved in marriage, or by express leave and consent of the husband,
as the Shunamite sought her husband's consent to entertain the prophet, 2 Kings
iv. 8 - 10, or by general consent, when his heart trusts in her, and he
referreth things to her discretion, or she being bound to show mercy as well as
the husband, she has not so far a joint interest in the estate to convert same
of it discreetly and wisely to holy and charitable uses; whether from one or
all these, I will not now dispute. The discussion might do more hurt than good,
because of the unseasonableness and the calumnies of evil-minded persons.
II. The grounds and reasons.
1. The law of nature written by God's
own finger in the hearts of men. We read of those who were heathens, that they
enacted a law and decree: Esther i. 20, 22, 'That every man should bear rule in
his own house; and that all the women should give honour to the husband, both
great and small'; and that upon the queen's not vouchsafing to come to the king
when he sent for her, they thought it an example of an evil taint, and
pernicious to their household power. Indeed both anciently and to this very
day, great is the power of the husbands over their wives in Persia. Now shall
heathens see that which christians do not?
2. God's ordination, which a
holy heart dareth not disobey. Now God hath expressly commanded it in his word
in the text; so Col. 3. 18, 'Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,
as it is fit in the Lord; Titus ii. 5, 'To be obedient to their own husbands; I
Peter 3.7, 'Likewise ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands'. And where
not? A gracious heart wil I say, If God hath required me to be subject, I will
be subject. They dare not enlarge themselves where God hath straitened them.
The sight of God's will is instead of all reasons; as for their duty in
general: 1 Thes. 4. 3, 'For this is the will of God, even your sanctification';
so for this particular duty of obedience to superiors: 1 Peter ii. 15, 'So is
the will of God, that ye should put to silence the ignorance of foolish men.
Well, then, if God, who hath the power of disposing of his creatures, and who
is to be obeyed in the person of the husband, hath commanded this, this
silenceth all debates and mutterings to the contrary.
3. The natural
imperfection of the woman. The apostle calleth her 'the weaker vessel', 1 Peter
iii. 7. Abilities of mind are not ordinarily so strong in her as in the man;
and they have fewer opportunities than man for perfecting their natural parts;
and they are not so able to provide for themselves, modesty not permitting them
to go up and down in the world. Therefore though God would have them copartners
with the man in the good things of this life, yet he hath entrusted the
government in the hands of the man.
4. The manner and order of the
creation. The woman was made after man, out of man, and for man. God formed man
first, and then the woman out of him, and for man's good. This reason is urged
by the apostle: I Tim. ii. 13, 'For Adam was first formed, then Eve; 1 Cor. xi.
8, 9, 'For the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. Neither was
the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man. This noteth her
subordination and dependence on him: 'After man'; therefore man must be
superior.
You will say then, The birds and beasts should be preferred, for
they were created before either.
Ans. The apostle speaketh of the same
kind, not of diverse; but 'of man', and not he of her. Therefore even in
innocency was she subject to Adam, though then without grief and molestation:
'For man', as appears from the end of the creation of the woman, which was to
be a help and comfort to him; for whatever serveth to any end is lesser than
the end for which it serveth.
5. From the woman's being first in the
transgression; for this is a part of the sentence, Gen. 3.16, 'He shall bear
rule over thee. There is little reason that the course settled in the creation
should be changed after the fall; for the woman was first seduced, and then
draweth her husband into the fellowship of the sin. Therefore God in effect
telleth her, Since thou canst not rule thyself, meet it is that thou shouldst
be put under the rule and power of another, The apostle deduceth this
subjection from the same ground: 1 Tim. ii. 14, 'But Adam was not deceived, but
the woman being deceived, was first in the transgression; that is, Adam was not
first deceived, but Eve; she was first cheated by the serpent, and so a cause
and beginning of ruin on all mankind; therefore it is equal ever afterwards
that the woman should obey the man, because the man perished by hearkening to
the wife: her honour was first 1ost~.
6. The inconveniences that would
ensue if this subjection were taken away. There must be order in every society,
without which there followeth division, and thereupon confusion; and a house
divided cannot stand. Now the fittest to govern the family is the husband, who
is the most worthy, being created after the image of God, and the woman after
the image of the man. We see - trouble the order of nature, and presently great
inconveniences follow, thunders, earthquakes, inundations; so disturb the order
of due subjection in a family, and then nothing but strife, clamours, mutual
jealousies.
Use 1. Is reproof to several sorts.
1. Of all those frothy
and profane wits who scoff at women's subjection, and make it a matter of
unsavoury mirth. See how misbecoming christians this is, partly as it is a duty
required by God. Should any of God's laws be made matter of laughter and
derision to us? This is to make mock of sin, which is the guise of atheistical
fools, Prov. 14.9; for if we scoff at the law that forbiddeth it, we make the
transgression a mere matter of laughter. I am sure it weakeneth our reverence
of God's precepts; Partly as it is a great duty which enforceth all the rest.
For our easier and shorter direction, the scripture compriseth all the duty of
the wife in one word, 'submission'; as all the duty of the husband in the word
'love'. And what God intended for a help, shall we turn it into matter of
laughter? Let the woman submit to her husband, and she will not stick at other
ditties; as, let the husband love his wife, and all family converse will be
easy. Now should we strike at all conjugal duties, and stab them at the heart,
as they do that weaken that reverence which belongeth to the fundamental
ditties, by making matter of sport of them? Once more, the occasion on which
God revived this precept should intimate graver thoughts, for it was upon the
woman's being first in the transgression which was the fountain of all our
miseries. Now the remembrance of the fall of our first parents should check all
profane and unsavoury mirth, rather than feed it.
2. It reproveth those
that dispute against it by manifold cavils; but no reasoning must be allowed
against a plain and known duty. Therefore, to prevent these disputes, let me
lay down two conclusions -
[1.] On the wife's part; no privilege of birth,
parts, breeding, can exempt her from it. If she be a wife, whatever she be, she
must be in subjection to her own husband. We cannot dispense with God's
ordinance. She still ought to look upon her husband as one placed by God in a
degree of superiority above her; and the law of nature, and the ordinance of
God, and her own covenant, bind her to submission and dutifulness to him. God
hath not said, Such women shall be subject, and such not, but speaketh to all
indefinitely: 'Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands.' If any have
peculiar gifts of wisdom and prudence, it is to make them the more serviceable,
and to cover and supply their husband's defects; as Abigail did Nabal's.
[2.] On the husband's part; no personal infirmity, no frowardness of nature, no
error in religion (1 Cor. 7. 13), deprives him of it. The husband's wickedness
and disobedience to the gospel doth not lessen the relation, or vacate the duty
belonging thereunto. No; rather the conscientious party is more strictly tied
to a faithful discharge of their duty, to gain upon the other party. The
relation is only loosened in case of adultery, and lawful divorce thereupon,
Mat. 5.32, or wilful desertion, I Cor. 7.15. In other cases you must bear your
burden. If you object, They are unfit; you should not have chosen such to rule
you; but having chosen them, you must assist them the best you can in a
dutiful, not a masterly way.
3. It reproveth them that have no reason to
allege but their owm imperious and peevish humour causeth them to live
discontentedly and disobediently in this relation; they stand in no awe of
their husbands, and will not be subject. These live in plain rebellion and
defiance of God's ordinance; and they should bethink themselves how it will
stand with the profession they make of being christians, or what account thef
shall give in the judgment, when they are to pass their doom and trial, how
they have glorified God in this relation; what they have done as wives for his
honour.
4. It reproveth those husbands that by their own default lose their
authority and dignity, and are themselves causes that their own power is
lessened and diminished, either by their intemperance, behaving themselves as
beasts rather than men, that they are altogether unfit to judge what is meet
and good for the family; so that if the prudent wile did not contribute her
assistance, all would go to ruin; or by their faulty easiness, giving way to
evil; as Adam permitted himself to be seduced by his wife, and Jezebel's
overruling her husband Ahab in the matter of Naboth's vineyard, which proved
both the ruin of her, and her husband, and the whole family, 1 Kings 21.7,
22-24. It is true the husband is to govern not by fear, but by love. He is the
image of Christ in governing his church, and the wife is not a slave, but a
meet help; but this love should not be a snare to him. And it is true the wife
should not be despised, for God saith to Abraham, 'Hearken to the voice of
Sarah.' But there is a difference between hearkening to good counsel, and
swallowing a temptation, and being driven to evil by the woman's
imperiousness.
Use 2. Is to exhort wives to submit to their own husbands.
Here I shall take notice - (1.) Of the impediments; (2.) The motives.
1.
The impediments.
[1.] Pride. When they think of their own birth, beauty,
wisdom, beyond what is meet, and so take upon them more than they ought,
contemning the husband's authority; but they should remember their duty
dependeth not upon their birth, beauty, portion, but God's ordinance. On this
is founded the husband's authority, and subjection of the wife, which neither
can nor ought to be abrogated and changed by these accidental things. They
should also consider that pride is no great sign of their worth, and these are
soonest blown up, and it is conceit rather than solid worth, and that this
motive of pride is from the devil to draw them into rebellion against God.
[2.] A defect of true love; for love maketh all services easy and cordial: Gen.
24.20, 'Jacob's seven years seemed to him but a few days; Ps. 119.167, 'My soul
hath kept thy testimonies, and I love them exceedingly.' And it is so to a
woman also; she that loveth will study to please, for love will always mind us
of our duty. Therefore parents should not force their children to marry whom
they do not love: Gen. 24.57,58, 'We will call the damsel, and inquire at her
mouth.' Let them also take care of themselves, that they do not for honour or
riches make choice of such husbands as they cannot love; and after marriage let
them avoid all, even the lightest, causes of offence. Things glued together may
be easily disjointed. God must be sought to keep up this love; especially let
it not be weakened by impure and straggling thoughts.
[3.] Affectation of
vanity; for a vain woman will never attend to thcse household duties which
belong to conjugal subjection, but will either be gadding abroad to see and to
be seen, affecting great pomp of hiving, as costly array, vanity of fashions,
and other things than will atan with the profit of the family. The vain woman
is described, Prov. vii. 12, 'Now she is without, now she is in the street,
waiting in e"ery .corner. Now they that are sick of vanities care neither for
husband, children, nor family; and therefore let women watch against this evil.
¶Phe a~ostle directeth them to adorn themselves in modest apparel, s
amefacedness and sobriety, 2 Tim. ii. 9,
[4.1 Want of self-denial.
Self-denial, as it maketh churches and kingdoms happy, so it maketh families
happy, when every one in their place is willing to bear a part of the burden;
this maketh us fit to serve one another; as the apostle: I Cor. 10.33, 'As I
please all men in all things, not seeking mine own things, but the profit of
many, that they may be saved. So mutatis mutandis, proportionably should
the christian wife say. When we can deny self-will and self-ends, no duties
will be burdensome to us. Now self-denial is so essential to christianity, and,
though it be troublesome to the flesh, bringeth such comfort and peace into our
consciences, that no good christian should be without it; especially the woman,
who by her state of life is not ordinarily exposed to public hazards, should
not be without this character of Christ's disciples, self-denial.
2. Motives.
[1.] It is easier and safer to obey than to prescribe
and direct, and more felicity is found in obedience than in commands; and in
the event it is found more safe; as Zipporah, by obeying her husband in
circumcising the child,saved his life, Exod. 4.26.
[2.] It is better to
give the husband occasion of thanksgiving than of complaining : James 5.9,
'Grudge not one against another, lest ye be condemned; especially in superiors:
Heb.13.7, 'Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for
they watch for your souls, as they that must give account~ that they may do it
with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.' So in other
relations God expecteth honour: Prov. 28.22, 'Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a
good thing, and obtaineth favour from the Lord;' Prov. 19.14, 'Houses and
riches are the inheritance of our fathers, but a prudent wife is from the
Lord.'
[3.] Your own peace, that your 'prayers may not be interrupted, I
Peter 3.7.
[4.] Honour to God. (1.) It takes away the reproach of the
gospel: Titus ii. 5, 'Obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be
not blasphemed'; that christian religion may not be thought to impose anything
contrary to moral virtues. (2.) That gainsayers may be won to God: 1 Peter 3.1,
'Ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word,
they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.
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